Sad Happens: A Celebration of Tears

From the book’s website:

“When was the last time you cried? Was it because you were sad? Or happy? Overwhelmed, or frustrated? Maybe from relief or from pride? Was it in public or in private? Did you feel better afterwards, or worse? The reasons that we cry—and the circumstances in which we shed a tear—are often surprising and beautiful. Sad Happens is a collective, multi-faceted archive of tears that captures the complexity and variety of these circumstances.”

Not only is this book right up my alley as a Hospice Bereavement Counselor, but I am humbled to say that I have a piece included in this wonderful compilation alongside some really cool people like Hanif Abdurraqib, Matt Berninger, Phoebe Bridgers, Helado Negro, and Claire Rousay.

“Sad Happens is a collective, multi-faceted archive of tears that captures the complexity and variety of sadness, joy, love, a sense of community, and a host of other emotions. Available 11/14/23.”

  • Visit the book’s website

  • Order the book from Amazon

2022 :: Year In Review

Welcome to the 2022 Holiday at the Sea year in review. These are a few of my favorite things (from this year at least).

  • Browse my favorite books of 2022.

  • Browse my favorite movies of 2022.

  • Browse my favorite music of 2022.

  • Browse my favorite television of 2022.

  • Browse my unfiltered running list from 2022.

2021 Year In Review :: Favorite Books

At the time of this writing, I read 41 books in 2021. Not quite a book a week, but still a good pace. This year I finished the novels of Haruki Murakami in chronological order and started re-reading Kurt Vonnegut’s novels in chronological order. I read a lot about grief and grieving but I only had a chance to read a couple of books published in 2021. But two of them really stood out to me.

One about chewing gum, the creative process and the fight for survival. The other about a father’s love for his son and the desire for connection and the fight for survival. I’m sensing a theme.



  • Browse my favorite albums of the year

  • Browse my “2021 Yearly Wrap-it-Up” which is really a ramble about seeing Phish

  • Browse my favorite books of 2021

  • Browse my favorite movies of 2021

  • Browse my favorite television of 2021

  • Listen to a nearly 5-hour very low quality mix of one song from each of my favorite albums of 2021 called “Soundtrack to the Collective Meltdown”


I Can't Tell You How To Grieve, But I Can Be There With You

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One of the most difficult parts of my role as a Bereavement Counselor for a large hospice is when people ask me for advice. Somewhere along the line, many of us picked up the idea that there are certain steps that we can go through (this is likely due to the wide use of Kübler-Ross’ Five Stages of Grief). Though, I think much of the problem is that we believe that grief is a problem to be fixed.

Grief is not a problem to be solved, but a process we must go through.

In its grandest sense, grief is the natural reaction to any significant loss or change. You can grieve the loss of a job. You can grieve a divorce. You can grieve the pandemic. The problem we run into is that grief is both universal and unique. It is something each and everyone of us will face in life but no one processes grief in the same way.

The grief I most hear about in my work as a Bereavement Counselor is the loss of a loved one. In these cases, I think we can narrow our definition of grief to something like: Grief is evidence of love, or even more specifically: grief is love for someone special with nowhere left to go. Grief and love are inextricably woven together.

And since love is the source of grief, grief is an emotional process, not an intellectual one. It is not something we can think our way through; there are no steps to follow. We must allow our emotions to run their course. And since grief is love working itself out; grief is an emotional process:

  • There is no timeline. (if there is, it’s coming from you)

  • There is no comparison. (If there is, it’s coming from you).

Grief is universal and unique. It is something we all go through, but no one goes through in the same way. I know you want to know the next steps. I know you want to know when things will change. But I can’t tell you those things. The best I can do is walk through the valley of the shadow of death with you. I can companion you and I can watch for signs of unhealthy emotional processing, but I can’t tell you how to grieve.

For many of us, grief is also the process of self-discovery. Since grief love is the source of grief, and much of our self-identity is tied to our closest relationships, when we lose that someone, we lose part of ourselves. We must rediscover (recreate?) who we are now. Who are we without our person? I can’t answer that question for you. But I can walk through the valley of discovery with you.

I can’t tell you how to grieve. But I hope you fine someone who is willing to walk through it with you.

Megan Devine: "How do you help a grieving friend?"

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Back in September of 2020, I posted a short video on the difference between sympathy and empathy by Brené Brown. That video has helped me tremendously in my work as a Bereavement Counselor.

The other day, my wife bought me the book It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand at a garage sale. I had not heard of Devine previously, but it looked like a helpful book for my line of work. After looking in to Devine some, I came across a video similar to Brown’s and just as helpful: “How do you help a grieving friend?”

From the video’s Youtube page:

“It's so hard to know what to do when your friends are hurting. The thing is, you can't cheer someone up by telling them to look on the bright side, or by giving them advice. It just doesn't work. Watch this video to learn the one thing that will improve all of your "I'm here for you" intentions, and be that supportive friend you most want to be.”


  • Visit the Refuge In Grief website

  • Follow Megan Devine at Twitter

  • Purchase It's OK That You're Not OK (Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand) by Megan Devine at Amazon




2020 Year In Review Wrap-Up

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Thank you so much for reading this year. So much has happened this year and it’s crazy looking back on this rollercoaster of a year.

Scroll down and browse my year-end roundup.





  • Read my self-reflection for 2020

  • Read my cultural reflection for 2020

  • Browse my favorite books and reading of 2020

  • Browse my music of 2020

    • Browse Volume 01 of my 2020 favorites playlist

    • Browse Volume 02 of my 2020 favorites playlist

    • Browse Volume 03 of my 2020 favorites playlist

    • Browse Volume 04 of my 2020 favorites playlist

    • Browse Volume 05 of my 2020 favorites playlist

  • Browse my favorite television of 2020


2020 Year-End Books and Reading

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Well, The only thing from 2020 that I read this year was the fun Grateful Dead Origins graphic novel and Ken Layne’s Desert Oracle (both of which appear here). But that doesn’t mean I didn’t try to do my fair share of reading. It just means that I’m not very good at keeping up with the newest books.

So, here are a few of the books/authors that kept my attention or made an impact on me this year.


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Grateful Dead Origins Graphic Novel by Chris Miskiewicz

If you’ve read some of the fuller book-length treatments of the Grateful Dead, there won’t be much “new” material here for you. But that doesn’t make the graphic novel treatment any less enjoyable. Well worth your time if you have any interest in the Dead.

  • Purchase Grateful Dead Origins by Chris Miskiewicz at Amazon


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The Overstory by Richard Powers:

Published in 2018, this beautifully written story collects the stories of seemingly random characters, intertwines them with the story of trees, and leaves us moved. Highly recommended.



  • Visit Richard Powers’ official website

  • Purchase The Overstory at Amazon


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The Anatomy Of Peace by The Arbinger Institute

I was assigned this book during my second unit of CPE. I don’t often do this with assigned reading materials, but I asked my wife to read it as well. It was that impactful for me. Telling the story of a 60-day teen AZ desert recovery camp, the authors force us to examine whether our hearts are at war or at peace. This book has been tremendously helpful for my own personal emotional health. Highly recommended.



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Haruki Murakami

Though I’ve heard of Murakami for years, I had not actually read anything by him until this year. And, I have been captivated. First of all, any novelist who lists Kurt Vonnegut as one of their main influences already has my attention. Couple that with an author who has over 10,000 LPs, most of them jazz records?! I mean, come on, what has taken me so long to read this guy?! Kafka On The Shore was my entry point, and then a friend sent me A Wild Sheep Chase. But after that I decided to work my way through everything else in chronological order. I just started my sixth Murakami book, so that should tell you that I connect.


  • Visit Haruki Murakami’s official website

  • Follow Haruki Murakami at Facebook

  • Purchase Haruki Murakami’s books at Amazon


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Desert Oracle Volume 01 by Ken Layne

A collection of tales from the Zine. Layne takes us exploring through the sunbaked Southwest where we meet UFO’s, doomed hikers, gamblers, unknown creatures, and the resiliency of human life. Even in the desert; we can find life.


  • Visit the Desert Oracle website

  • Visit Ken Layne’s official website

  • Follow Ken Layne on Twitter

  • Purchase Volume 01 at Amazon